In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On some Swansonn frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessertprinted on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Really???)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (I'm glad they cleared that up...)

On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

In a Laundromat : Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

On a Church Door : This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)

Quicksand Warning : Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

Seen during a Conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a Field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

On a Repair Shop Door : We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)